It's only three more days now till I make the biggest move of my life, the transition from singlehood to marriedhood. I am excited for this celebration and for the life we get to live together afterwards.

I still remember when it was 6 months out and 5 months out and I thought it would be another lifetime befor the 24th of October would get here. And now its so close I can taste it.

Stress is low, today is my last day of work which will be good so I can pitch in and help out with the final details.

Needless to say I will probally not be blogging for a little while. But I'll have pictures to post when we get back from our honeymoon. Until then, this is Paul, signing off.
Wedding Website

It's not real but funnier than I can imagine...

It's just worth the post...

I'm looking for someone who can comment on one of these two books, They now top my wishlist and I wonder which I should get first if either. The Story We Find Ourselves In: Further Adventures of a New Kind of Christian and The Post-Evangelical

Found some cool new sites to the right... although the Allelon people probally know all of them already.

Do you agree?

"we have become more connected and yet more disconnected than ever before"

Okay, so we all have to have a bit of humor right? Time on Hands with Photoshop.
the best part, scope out the comments, that for real is Rick Warren surfing the blog world... of course I would too if I type my name in Google and find blogs about me... would you? .. look to last post about fame etc.

I have always wanted to be important. An while reading a really cool page this morning, "Quotes we like" I realized that I want to be on this list, I have a desire in me to pursue God, and to help others do the same. I have a desire in me to be like Neo in "A New kind of Christian" To wait for the teachable moment in someone's life, aka when the Holy Spirit is moving, and be a tool of God to redirect, to suggest, but most importantly to open the door so they can walk through, to unplug them from the matrix they are in and see God in new light.

Ok so do I get to write a book to do that... probably not. But I want to be someone who people quote. Because of this... well perhaps my words my voice, my ability to speak should be taken away. That way I will learn to communicate God's love without words and to open doors for people without words... will they listen? will they hear?

Is it wrong to want to spread this love to the world... is it wrong to unplug someone. To show them the light... or at least to want to?

So I end with a Barna quote. Take from it what you will.

'There is an old saying that the things that got you to where you are today are not the things that will you get you where you need to be tomorrow...In this era of rapid and profound change, we know that the shape of the church must change significantly if it's to remain both alive and influential....We must be prepared to re-engineer the contours of ministry without compromising its content.' Researcher and Author George Barna

Met with Tim last night, book discussion on A New Kind of Christian. An entry level book for most of us, or for some of us a book which has finally put on paper things we have been thinking and feeling for years...

It is just so amazing to me, my last post was about intellect, sorta, about trying to read more about not having enough time. Then Tim and I meet, I was challenged, Tim seeks out Theology more that I ever have, and I think that If I were to really lay out what I believe he could shoot down every thought I had ever had because of the theology he has studied.

I long to be eloquent in my words, I long to be good at speaking and defending my speech.

But then I realize... I know there are others out there thinking what I'm thinking, I have heard them speak, I read their materials, I talk with them occasionally... And I realize that perhaps I am freeing another mind... But if I had to do it all over again I would have chosen the blue pill -- woken up from my thoughts as a dream and live life plugged in, not knowing the freedom.

Or would I. Is ignorance bliss? Is there pain in now knowing things I wish I had known for quite some time? Yes, is it worth while? I am not sure.

Is that bad...? I took the red pill, I am finding out how far don't he is rabbit hole leads... But I am not ok with my choice... Or am I... Put it this way I don't know what I would do If I knew then what I know now.

Yet I am so excited to free another mind... Tim, to watch him learn, to be free-d to think for the first time... To breath real air. As he put it last night to read scripture and think for myself... What does this truly mean What was Jesus sending, Paul in his context meant what?

So on the way around town last night b4 meeting with Tim, I heard a story on NPR... About a guy starting over, his career as a chef... And I heard at the end they encouraged him to write. To come up with ideas, to write them down and eventually to have a proposal of what I want a community I and my family are a part of to look like. Perhaps on paper it will make more sense.

So I have resolved to write it down.
amidst this busy time, I am going to write what I see as a way to follow together in community.

For most of my friends in this conversation this means I'm behind them. But I look at it this way (also figured out while verbal processing with Tim) I was brought up to speed with the deconstructionism so fast that I had nothing left... Its like the site of the Twin Towers in New York... The foundation has been torn out... Yet nothing has been built there yet... And that where I am... Memories of a building which once stood as a testimony to my faith journey now is gone, reprocessed and an empty gaping hole remains.

But perhaps writing will be the beginning of the memorial, or the rebuilding process... Perhaps I can build a web instead of a foundation driven building. perhaps the red pill wasn't so bad after all. Problems force new thinking.

// Lord may I be faithful //
pk

Finished reading this, and started reading this last night. There is just not enought time in the world to do all the reading I want to right now. Not to mention the small groups/church ministries I want to join as well as finding a mentor.

Lord provide only as you can. May I find a man who seeks your will who can show me here on earth how I am to live better. I am conviced I have wrong ideas and wrong behavior patterns... I need your help to correct those. I desire a rightous life, I desire to be your servant, your tool and a better man, a better husband, a better father, a better son, a better brother, a better worker.

Yet at the same time Lord keep me afloat. May I not slip backwards, but continue to work hard at what you have placed before me.

Help me remember that life is not only about me. infact its not about me.

break me.
//pk

Becky and I have been working over at the Loomis' again. She is there all day today mudding the attic where we have spent evenings for the past six weeks or so.

Everytime we put up a new peice of drywall our words were "mud. "mud'll fix that" and "everything is solved by mud." Needless to say it is one of the most tricky rooms to finsh square. But it has really turned out well.

So its raining today, The guys and I are going paintballing tonight.

More mud!

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Reading through Chronicles now... I keep thinking... maybe someone has made a diagram of the geneologies in the bible... certaily enough Bible Genealogy online and free!

Life is good.